1st Partridge [Action][Let's not realize we're trapped in Luceti]

[pearheaded]

[Luceti seems so calm right now. Active, but silently making white noise over the treetops around them—Ian's favorite type of place. And it was a good thing, too: no one is in need of money more than this guy well, had someone actually told him things were free and he couldn't leave, anyway. He has a blanket laid out, and a bag sat right in the middle. Full of little powder-filled glasses, freshly made and found in his stuff at the item shop, as well as his awesome clothes (note: not really). This medicine was his usual method of getting cash, when his pockets were empty. Granted, some people might not ever use his medicine if they knew what was in it, but what they can't know won't hurt 'em! In fact, it'll heal 'em! 8D

Oh yeah, and he left his journal in a bush in the forest, by accident. Whoops. He'll be sure to get that when he realizes it could help him.]

Wonderful people of—

[...oooone second. He looks at his hand and carefully tries not to make an ass of himself.]

Wonderful people of Loo-ket-ey! Feeling like curing your poor injured shoulder? Got a broken collarbone in need of fixing up? Lost a limb in a bar fight? Then look no further than here!

[Motioning to the bag laid out in front of him with the shit-eatingest grin he can perform. Shiny vials and powders glint in the sun! Glinty glint glint!]

With this medicine, your unhealed physical injuries will go bye-bye in minutes, seconds even, depending on the size! Just a simple payment of 19.99 will give you guys the best bandages anyone could ever ask for: the kind that don't need to be used at all! Don't know what to get your mother for her birthday? How about the sweet taste of insta-cut-healing! Papa getting too crazy with that hacksaw? Insure yourself so he'll have all of his fingers in the future!

Come on, you can't refuse such a cheap offer, can you?

[...Wow, these people aren't really caring that much. Same ol', same ol'.]

...o-or not...

[Why, go ahead and fill him in on what the hell Luceti even is. Cause as far as he's considered, he's stuck in a village in his world and needs to get back to the one his pals are in. Such is the life of a dense idiot.]

Comments

[analyzing]

[Is there seriously a shopping network guy here in Luceti. For real.

...trying not to laugh because that's just mean.]

Oh, I dunno, 19.99 seems kinda steep.

1/2 all across the board :|

[pearheaded]

R-really?!

I—I mean, no way, man. That's really cheap for something that can bring back your leg!!

[pearheaded]

...Right?

[analyzing]

You're not even sure?

[pearheaded]

W-well, I guess it depends on how much someone would pay to get healed, right?

I mean, I know some people are bad ass and don't care, but still...

[analyzing]

No, no, that's not it at all! Even if they're not the type to buy your stuff, you have to sell it to them. Make them want it real bad!

[pearheaded]

I'm... ah, not very good at being assertive.

[Hideously awful at it, even.]

[analyzing]

[.....well.]

Do you want to be?

[pearheaded]

...It would be nice... I think...

1/2

[analyzing]

[headshake] Not good enough. You'll need to be more sure than that. Let's try that one more time!

[analyzing]

Do you want to be more assertive, sir?

1/3

[pearheaded]

[OKAY, NO, YOU GOT THIS, KOLANSKY. YOU GOT THIS.]

[pearheaded]

YES, I WANT TO BE MORE ASSERTIVE!!

[pearheaded]

Eheh, please and thank you!

1/3 THIS IS THE THREAD OF MULTIPARTERS

[analyzing]

Loud and clear! That's the spirit!

[analyzing]

Of course, it'll take more than just that to seal a deal, but we all need to start at some point. Remember: As long as you're persistent, you can close any deal!

[analyzing]

Though, it'd probably work better if you could actually sell something here.

[pearheaded]

...Huh?


What do you mean?

I mean, I know I'm not the best salesman, but I've pulled off a few sales...!

[analyzing]

Oh, it's not that, just...well, no one's stepped up to offer so far, right? Haven't you wondered why? [She taps the side of her chin.] My offer aside, of course.

[pearheaded]

W-well... I just thought maybe people thought I looked funny...

[Awkward fidgeting; most people think the weird-colored eyeballs and the green hair is a tad shocking. Welcome to Luceti, Ian, where not a single fuck is given from day to day.]

I mean—I'm not exactly... normal looking, y'know?

[analyzing]

[She taps the side of her chin thoughtfully.]

I guess you do look different than most of us here, but it's not like you can help that, right?

1/2

[pearheaded]

You...

[pearheaded]

You're the nicest lady ever!!

[may or may not be going in for a hug while sobbing like a baby]

What kindness! What a sweet reply! What a decent, wonderful human being!!

[analyzing]

[Ehhhhh, letting him go for the hug. She'll pat him lightly on the back.]

[pearheaded]

[Just gonna pull back and give you a nice pat on the shoulder.]

You are a wonderful person!

[He holds up a bottle of the powder and offers it to one of her hands.]

Take one on the house! If you ever get hurt, just take this and you'll be healed up in no time!

[...This is how 50 percent of his sales end, really. orz]